Life

Playing Princess, complete with a little crown her sister made her out of pipe cleaners.

 

 

This last week I've discovered that:

 

I'm thankful Justus isn't a twin.

 

Having 4 kids is much easier than having 6.

 

Three little boys can make a LOT more noise and break a lot more toys than 2 can.

 

It is possible to cover our entire, enormous living room/schoolroom with paper scraps from little boys cutting paper. 

 

We have enough legos to blanket the boys' whole bedroom carpet.

 

No matter how compliant or quiet a kid is, they still take emotional energy, meaning that people who say, "Having 3 kids is the same as having 2" or "Once you have 2 or 3, you can have a few more and never even notice!" are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

 

If I don't menu plan religiously and do some bulk cooking once a week, I cannot survive my kids' relentless appetites.

 

I don't like meat (of any kind) enough to do a high-protein, low-carb diet and eat meat 5 times a day.

I like chocolate waaaaay too much to cut it out of my diet.

 

It's worth spending the money to go to the chiropracter if you are miserable.

 

Laughing so hard you can't stand up with friends is my favorite way to burn calories.

 

No matter how much laundry I do, one of the kids will always complain about something clothing-related, like their socks feel too big, or too small, they can't find clean underwear, or they don't like any of the clean shirts in their bin.

 

 

 

Motherhood is Suffering

 

John Piper has said, "Motherhood is more than suffering, but it is not less than it."

 

There are so many beautiful, wonderful things about being a mom.

 

Some days as a mom are truly as bright and as beautiful as this picture, taken at the Tetons this last summer.

 

But other days are just plain HARD!  We who are called "Mooooom!" will suffer in many different ways.

For some it may be difficult pregnancies, intense nausea, a traumatic childbirth, lack of sleep, or post-partum depression.  For others it will be in the form of a disobedient toddler, kids who don't sleep much, the death or rebellion of a child, a child's chronic illness or disability.  Every mom will struggle with the enormity of the task and the fatigue that comes with caring for other human beings around the clock, without days off, for years and years on end. 

 

The question isn't if we will suffer, but how we will suffer.

 

In the midst of the daily laying-down-of-my-own-needs-and-wants-for-others, we can become

either bitter or better.

We can allow the trials to grow us and make us strong, like trees in a strong wind that dig down deeper into the soil so they don't get blown over.

We can dig into the Word and draw from God's strength, or we can become angry, resentful, and bitter towards our kids.

 

In the suffering that comes with motherhood, this quote by Alexander Maclaren is a comfort to me, "Each of us may be sure that if God sends us over rocky paths, He will provide us with sturdy shoes."

Authenticity

 

If we don't acknowledge pain, strife, and imperfections, how can we relate to a hurting world?

 

There are some people whom I know but don't really know.

They always seem upbeat and positive and thankful. 

They are fun to be around because they seem to always see the glass as half full.

They have a way of making others feel discontent, without even trying to because they never reveal a struggle, a need, or a wound.

 

Yet, the ones dearest to my heart are not these ones with shallow smiles

and lives of perfection on display.

The dear ones aren't afraid to tell me that they totally blew it and yelled at their kids or that they are struggling in their marriage, or feeling faithless, depressed, hopeless, or over-tired. 

The ones close to my heart are the ones who know their humanity to the extent that they don't need to pretend that everything is always wonderful. 

Because we all know that it isn't and won't be...until Heaven.

 

It has been said that friendship begins the minute someone says, "No way!  You too?"

 

If you are looking for a true friend, a bosom buddy, a kindred spirit...someone who is truly going to rock your world, don't hide behind a perpetual smile or build a wall of pride and independence.  Don't be afraid to cry sometimes, or rage, or let them see you in your pj's, with dirty dishes or a bad attitude.  Ann Voskamp talks about how the walls we build to keep others out, (yes, even with a smiley, happy facade), become our prisons that isolate us.  I know that well, having lived through a time in my life where I refused to open up and overcome shyness, only to have people think I was snubbing them in pride when I was really just afraid.  True joy comes from being vulnerable, letting people know and love you just as you are. 

 

Authenticity is where awesome begins.

Saying Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge--Day Four

Today's challenge is about using the little moments in your day to accomplish small tasks instead of wasting them.

 

I have discovered that it takes me about 10 minutes to unload the dishwasher and re-load it.

It takes about 5 minutes to wipe down on all of the counters in my large kitchen and dining area.  It takes 1 minute to take the trash outside and replace the trash bag.  When my little kids are bathing, I wipe the bathroom mirrors and sink down and clean the toilet.  I can make a quick phone call or send an e-mail during the kids' recess time.  When someone calls, I can fold a load of laundry or dust my house while talking on the phone.  I often use little pockets of time between tasks or appointments to tackle the smaller chores on my to-do list.

 

Crystal talks about the distraction of social media and how she avoids it to save time in her day.

I decided toward the end of 2013 that I needed to do the same and get off facebook.

It's not even just the time I spent surfing my newsfeed, but it was also the emotional burden it placed on me.  Even when I wasn't on it I would be thinking about it.  "I forgot to send so-and-so a birthday greeting on fb!" or "I'm so worried about so-and-so and her personal problems." or "I wonder if that one person is mad at me because she never replied to my message." or "I'm so angry about that totally biased political quote my cousin put up!"  Even some of the joyous statuses were an emotional burden as they would tempt me to feel inadequate about myself because I don't run as much, decorate as nicely, or seem as peaceful about having tons of little kids as someone else would.  In addition, being accessible to sooooo many people sucked a lot of time out of my day.  Not being on fb, just like not having a cell phone, keeps me from being "at beck and call" to dozens and dozens of folks and their opinions.

As I told my brother, who doesn't have a fb account and is proud of me for quitting, "Ignorance is bliss!"  Truly, the people I have real relationships with still stay in touch with me and I'm happier not knowing everything about every person I've ever met!

 

Little tasks I can do with pockets of time:

Straighten my desk

Sort my paper pile

Carry my hanging clothing up from the laundry room and put it in my closet

Wipe down the windows on the front and back doors

Sweep the dining room

Check e-mail

Write a note of encouragement or a thank you note and drop it in the mailbox

Wash a couple of pots or pans

Straighten the shoe pile in the entry way

Read a library book to Katri

Enforce a 5-minute cleaning challenge for the kids

 

Snow Cute!

 

 

 

 

I've always thought the photos I take of my own kids or kids whom I know well and whom I love dearly are my best work.  It takes a knowing to truly convey a child's spirit in a photograph.

I often think that mamas take the very best photos of their own children, better than fancy photographers in a studio...because they are "writing with light" (what the word photo-graphy means) from a deep well of knowledge of their subject.

 

I know when the weather is just right outside, when the lighting will be magical in that one corner of our yard, when that one really cute outfit she has is clean, and when she will be in a good mood.

 

I know what her trademark expressions are and how she responds to new situations.

 

I know what to say to make her smile.

I know to click fast when she does that funny little smirk.

 

I know that I love her and that shines through in these pictures!

Good Moms...

A dear friend gave me this picture last year, and I treasure it.  I don't know how it ended up on the counter, with the glass broken, but it adds irony to the message!  Apparently, good moms also have broken stuff!